• By the power of all gods, I woke up at around 6:00. And yes…. It’s A.M by this time.
• Bathed
• Met and talked to my classmate who’s heading to bulacan (that was around 7:40 and they were supposed to be travelling by 7:30… scumbag son)

*I was in my Jurassic-inspired hairdo caused I gave few strokes before leaving the house*

• chitchat. Chitchat.chitchat.
• Went home again upon knowing that my classmate who handles my sched just woke up.
• Lined up for assessment and payment (because lining up as dozen has no thrill)

• Ate lunch.
• Accompanied Shandy(BECAUSE.THE.PLAN.WAS.7:00.WILL.BE.OUR.CALL.TIME.AND.MUST.BE.THERE.FOR.A.HASSLE-FREE.ENROLLMENT.AND.SHE.FCKING.CAME.IN.SCHOOL.AT.AROUND.11.SO.WE.HAVE.TO.LINE.UP.AGAIN.WOW.LEG.MUSCLES.BURSTING.MUSCLES)
• Finished at around 2.
• Went to SM.

……but shandy and krisly went home because she’s dizzy and stuff @.@

• Watched G.I Joe 2 with jammy. And when the movie’s on play, we’re sharing shitnitz and she started to cry. And yes……. I was dumbshocked :o

I can’t really decipher how things really could flash randomly and diverge in non-second speed.

Feeling gay on the 1^st quarter of the day, mushy on the second, exasperated on the 3^rd and all comes angst and fear on the last quarter. Feeling blue. Life’s black and white sheets won’t stop chasing, pace after pace, leap after leap, swallowing you whole after dropping the last piece of optimism. Drum beats came louder, and louderrr, and LOUDER, reciprocating your heart’s own roll of such.  

I don’t really understand why people dwell on promises. Why it makes them comfortable after their loved one swore that she’ll not leave him and thus will never dwell on setting free. 

Setting free?

Actually, setting free is one of the easiest thing an individual can do. It’s like a cat cooking hotdogs…blindfolded, it’s like letting a puff of cottoncandy melt on your tongue. But for those who truly love, setting free is the hardest part. If you really love someone, leaving him is not an option and will never be an option. It scrapes out everything within, it pricks thousands of needles towards you and let you fall in slumber like that of beauty, it feeds you apple that makes your entire body collapse like that of snow white, it gives stitches like that of Frankenstein, stitches between a cut that never heals. Life is not a fairytale, a tale wherein every decision is right. It’s not about fairytale wherein everything will be alright after a good cry and after setting free.

They say that if you truly love someone, you have to set him free. Stupid. It’s like spending a week searching in the forest, amidst rain, scourging sun and wild animals just to catch your favorite pigeon and free it upon seeing it uncomfortable on your hands for the first time you touch it (Wait, do pigeons reside in the forest?) You should learn to tighten the grip on that special someone. Sometimes, setting free doesn’t really show that you love him. You need to fight for him. Take the burden. And remain on his side.

WAIT. WTF DID I JUST SAY?! Hacked. 

It took me hard time to start a single streak of words to utter. For months I was convinced that life went into a monotonous hymn, a simple snap and boring one.  But then I realized, it wasn’t.

Those passed months have been filled with much wonders, surprises, decisions, and the changes I have to consign.

Midterms: A term wherein I metaphorically pictured myself riding a carousel, giggling, and having a goodtime, without letting a single drop of sweat dribble throughout, but that moment of enjoyment never would I considered  worth it. Days before exam, I almost cried my bile out of my nose upon realizing that the game is over. That I just loosened the grip to my dreams.

Finals: IT WAS THE LITERAL HELL OF MY COLLEGE LIFE. Sleeping at 10 in the evening and waking up at 2, from 2 and forth, eyelids were strictly instructed not to go down a milli for a second beyond.

From bunch of bursting pimples to my shrinking bodeh. Everything paid off. It took me a minute to finally blink upon seeing three-fcking-99 grade on my finals. (okay. This is normal for some) BUT JEEZUSSSS, I thank God for this more than I thank Him for not making carabaos fly.

But yeah, what matters most is that you don’t stress out yourself too much. In the end, it’s not about the grade, it’s on how much you learn. And maybe, your will to use those learnings to help others and thank those people who helped you out through out the journey.

There’s a lot wider panorama of exhilarating reality outside the cyberworld.

I used to type my thoughts and dump inscripted jokes on a four-cornered box and click “post”, until I realize that those giggles of real-life creatures would be better to hear that the “click sound” of my computer.

I used to greet people “good morning” through their chatboxes and later on receive a response of “good morning too” with an affixed emoticon beside. but then I realized, nothing can equalize a glass-breaking-high-pitched-good morning too” from people while seeing their lip-end gradually rise, making their cheekbones emboss and their nose-opening enlarge.

I used to hear music posted by random people until I realized, cracked voice and ear-bursting noise of people whom I’m familiar with makes the heart warmer than tracks from recorded, unknown artists.

I used to be incarcerated in a world of matrix and complicated codes of technology. I’ve constructed my own world behind my avatars, display picture, profile picture or whatever the networking sites refer it.

Until I..

Until I knew what life is. Life beyond the paradigm of freedom-rich world.

There’s a lot more life beyond it. Live through reality. Life is not perfect and thus makes it perfect. Reality may bring tantrums and aches. But I guarantee you, it’ll give you courage until it’ll be suffice. Suffice to survive and later on struggle successfully in life. 

My blog is dead and so do I. I need to catch things up. I lost the vigor. And I need to seek the urge for the economy of the Philippines be stable. what?   

comemae:

Happy birthday to this girl beside me.

Thank you for being there always even though we haven’t seen each other for 7 months already. For those shared stories, especially those personal stuffs. I like how I could be so transparent on sharing my thoughts with you since I know there’s no way…

waaaa. I want you to know that this feeling is mutual. You’re my ever-active-speaking-diary that reacts like “OMGASSSS!LPG!!! WHAT?? WHY?” when I just told you that I just lost my hairpin. kidding. But I love you magggggggggot! You know my secrets… and I trust you for that. 

I do hope to see you soon. SOON :(((( I miss yoooooou.

Ngayon ko lang na realize…………

nag iimprove ang aking taglay na photobombing talent. jsdhfkjsdf. HAHAHA. When you see it, you’ll drop jaw. 

She silently drifts her body up her bed, thinking that another ordinary day is apt for a change. Away from shadows that makes her weary and exasperated. But as clock continues to tickle, things are getting worse…. revealing the dubiousness inside her. She’ve been through life’s chain of ups and down… but chose to zoom her perspective on life’s rough side. Her eyes were covered with doomed occurrences and her mind was enveloped with doubt. Thinking that she’s not enough and people around are fond of jeopardizing were never a mainstream thing to behold. Until the day comes … reality popped open and she realizes that these negative thoughts are eating her up leaving her nothing but a picture of herself gradually weakening.

Trust has been a rare thing to reward herself. She chose not to interact to deteriorate the rejection-mentality. But one day, things will all change, will be polished, will improve and somehow build her up. There will be a time that those hardships she had been will turn out to be her backbone and things will worry her no more……